WHAT’S UP CONFESSORS….I know your chomping at the bit, just dying to read this confession. So I won’t delay the process with a lot of unnecessary chit chat. Today’s confession comes to us from New York and a lady calling herself Cyndi wrote this….

Hi Carol, first off can I say I am a HUGE fan of your website, I think it’s great that you’re offering people the opportunity to admit to their wrong doings and the “ADVICE” you give is always fair and constructive. I hope that you will treat my confession in the same way.

I was in a relationship with a wonderful man whom I loved very much. After 12 years together he finally asked me to marry him, I was the happiest woman alive. He gave me a beautiful diamond ring and I felt blessed and grateful to have everything I ever wanted in life. I threw myself into planning our wedding with great enthusiasm and I organised a small but very tasteful wedding.

As the date grew closer I became more and more excited and I could not wait to become Mrs…… Little did I know my world was about to crumble. Just two days before our wedding my fiancé informed me that he was in love with one of his work colleagues and could not marry me. Needless to say I was devastated. I refused to leave home for over a month and hardly got out of bed during that time. My world had ended as far as I was concerned.

Fast forward two years and I had finally put my feelings about my ex aside and began getting on with my life. Soon after I met a nice guy. I was not willing to jump into a serious relationship so we kept it casual and was seeing each other for about 18 months. Around that time I went to my doctor for my usual annual health check and it was then that I received the worst news a human being could get. I was diagnosed HIV positive.

I sunk into a major depression and eventually had to seek counselling. When I finally got the strength to confront the guy I was seeing he accused me of infecting HIM. Carol I swear to GOD I did not infect him, it was the other way around. By that point I was really beyond caring, all I knew was that I was too young to die.

A few months later I was at the supermarket with my mom, we walked out of the door and literally bumped into my ex fiancé. We were both shocked as it was the first time we had seen each other since our break-up. I managed to collect myself and say hello, he looked me straight in the eyes and turned and walked away without saying a word.  I was so angry, all of the feelings that I thought I had gotten rid of came bubbling back up to the surface and if it wasn't for my mom I would of ran after him. I wanted to shout and scream and break things. I have never experienced such rage before.

Anyhow some time passed and one Saturday night my best friend talked me into going to a nightclub with her. I went along unwillingly but who should I see at the bar drinking with his buddies but my ex finance. It was obvious that he had been drinking heavily and when he saw me he hugged me and began saying how sorry he was for hurting me. I felt nothing but disgust and anger and betrayal but I told him I forgave him and we began drinking and dancing together.

At the end of the night I asked him if he wanted a ride home, my friend tried to dissuade me but all I could think of was how I could hurt him like he had hurt me. I drove him to my place and asked him to come in for a drink at first he said he didn't think it was a good idea but it didn't take much for me to convince him.

Soon after we were making out and he told me how much he missed me and that he had not enjoyed sex with any other woman as much as he enjoyed it with me. I was appalled but it was at that moment that I knew what I was going to do. I led him to the bedroom and began undressing him. Soon we were naked and he was telling me he had condoms in his wallet, I told him I was still a good girl and that he didn't need a condom with me. He didn't argue and we had sex.

The next day he did not awaken till almost midday and when he did wake up his first words were to tell me what a mistake it was to sleep with me. I told him it was OK because his mistake would cost him his life, and I told him I was positive. 

At first he did not believe me but I showed him one of the letters I received from the hospital and he went berserk. He began shouting and screaming at me and I just laughed hysterically in his face. Doing so just made him even worse and he slapped me across my face. I screamed and told him to get out and he left, I have not seen him since that morning.

Later I heard through the grapevine that somehow by the grace of GOD he tested negative. But he posted my picture on Facebook along with my name, warning his male friends to stay away from me because I was positive and tried to infect him. Now EVERYONE knows my status.

I could not take all of the hatred that was directed at me after that, even my best friend disowned me and I have since moved back down south with my parents. I don’t have a friend in the world. I am so lonely and I’m going to die…I’m only 30 years old.

I pray that one day my friends and my ex will forgive me for what I did but somehow I doubt that will happen. So now I just focus on surviving as long as I can and hope that when it’s my time to leave this earth the father will not be too harsh in his judgment of me.

Thanks for giving me this opportunity to confess my sins.

Bless you

Cyndi.

****

Yours is a sad sad story Cyndi and I truly hope you will find peace one day.

HOWEVER!

What you did was almost beyond words, it was contemptible, disgraceful and lower than low. But let’s put this into perspective. Your ex-boyfriend has basically taken your life and his doing so has obviously left you bitter and rather twisted in your thinking. This I can fully understand! There is nothing that I can say except he should be tarred, feathered and strung up by his testicles for infecting you.

HOWEVER!

The same could be said of you. You were consumed with rage but you took your rage out on the wrong person. If you wanted to exact revenge it should have been directed at the man who gave you this awful disease. HE is the one who should have been your target, not your ex-fiancé. He broke your heart but your ex-boyfriend took your life and that in my humble opinion is far far worse.

I am relieved beyond words to know that your ex-fiancé tested negative, it is indeed by the grace and mercy of the father. I hope you understand how close you came to spending the rest of your life in prison. As for him posting your status on Facebook, part of me wants to say that was wrong but if I think about how I would react to someone deliberately trying to infect me with HIV, I think I too would have issued a warning to my friends to stay clear of a person like that.

You need help Cyndi, I am glad you sent your confession in because it tells me that you do at least understand the gravity of what you did and you do feel remorse for your actions. I do want you to know that although you are HIV positive you do still have some things to be grateful for.

Be grateful that…..

• You do not have to live with the knowledge that YOU took someone’s life.
• You still have the love and support of your family.
• You realize the error of your ways.
• That with the advancements in medication for those living with HIV there is a good chance you can still live a relatively long life.

I would suggest that if you are no longer receiving counselling that you do so again. There are a great many issues you need to work through if you are going to be able to live out your life productively. I find that helping others is a great way to take your mind off your own issues. Perhaps you could mentor others living with HIV or get involved with some local charities. I believe doing some good in the world will help you to forgive yourself.

I pray that you are able to find a way to live a contented and peaceful life.

Many blessings to you.

*****

So Folks….What Do You Think?

Should Cyndi…..

Burn in hell forever for what she tried to do?

Should she be pitied and forgiven?

Or should she be made to remain a friendless outcast?

LET US KNOW IN THE COMMENT BOX BELOW!!!

Luv Yall

Carol xoxo

Good Day confessors long time no see J As you can see I have been busy making some changes to the site (I hope you like it). As the site is growing and developing a new design was necessary in order for us to continue spreading our wings. So we have shortened the name to Black Women Confess and we have also added a brand new service at your request.

I am so pleased to now offer you 1-on-1 Personal Life Adviser sessions. Check out the attractive rates and get all the information on our new page… Personal Life Adviser ….

 Now onto today’s confession, it comes to us all the way from sunny Miami, and it is one of those confessions that need no introduction, the title says it all. So grab yourself a drink and a snack and sink your teeth into today’s story. And remember to tell us what you think in the COMMENT BOX BELOW!!!

Hi Carol I feel so ashamed of myself I just had to tell someone before I go out of my mind. I have one son and he is 17 years old. Ever since his 16^th birthday he has been begging me to have sex with him. My son is not like most boys he is painfully shy, overweight, suffers badly with acne, wears glasses and is very tall and awkward.

From the time he went into high school he has been teased and bullied because of his size. I have spent so may evenings holding my son in my arms as he sobbed and begged me not to force him to continue going to school. I have talked to his teachers about the bullying and over the last 12 months it has gotten better. But my son is still desperately unhappy.

Late last year a new family moved into our street and my son became friends with one of the girls in the family but soon after they became friends he overheard the girl at school telling some other girls she only talks to my son so that she can get a ride to school. My son was devastated by this because he thought he finally had a shot at getting a girlfriend.

Ever since then my son has been convinced that he will never get a girlfriend and will always be a virgin. So he started asking me to help him out. He just wanted to know what it was like to have sex. At first I was truly appalled by the idea but watching my sons’ immense unhappiness day after day was tearing my heart apart, so eventually I agreed to help my son to lose his virginity.

My son was extremely grateful and continues to refer to me as the best mother a boy could have but I am so consumed with guilt. I don’t sleep, I hardly eat and I am struggling to stay focused at work. I have been so distracted my boss suggested I take my vacation early to get myself together. I have been considering going back to my church and confess my sins but I have not been brave enough as yet.

I just had to get this off my chest. I do not expect anyone to understand my actions but I was honestly just trying to help my desperately unhappy son. Thanks carol for giving me the opportunity to confess, doing so has helped a lot.

Guilty Momma

********

I’m not sure I even know what to say to you Guilty Momma. I cannot even imagine what madness could have driven you to commit incest. If you really wanted to do something for your son you should have waited till he was 18 and hired a prostitute for him. Or better yet you could have helped your son to improve his looks and his self-esteem.

You said he is overweight…that is not a permanent condition.

You say he has acne….this is not a permanent condition.

You say he wears glasses…you can get nicer glasses or contacts.

Bringing that kind of shame on yourself and your son was not a wise decision. And although he may think you did him a favour now as he gets older he will begin to understand the gravity of his actions. As a parent you have to understand that you cannot solve every one of your child’s problems, some things they just have to work through by themselves. In your case there were quite a few alternatives to having sex with your son.

Now that the dirty deed is done I would suggest you get help to pull yourself together. You are your sons’ sole provider; he needs you so you need to sort yourself out. Go to see your priest if you think that will help but personally I believe that doing so will only pile more guilt on your shoulders. I would suggest a counsellor, someone impartial and not emotionally attached. That way you can get some professional but non-judgmental help.

I wish you luck…you’re gonna need it.

******

SO OVER TO YOU FOLKS!!!

What are your thoughts on Guilty Momma’s confession?

LET US KNOW IN THE COMMENT BOX BELOW!

Peace

Carol xoxo

Good day confessors, I trust you’re having a fabulous weekend. I have a great confession for you today. It comes to us from the sunny Caribbean island of Barbados, home to the likes of Rihanna and more importantly ME! J. A lady that calls herself the Angry Woman has her panties all in a bunch over a situation she is in and she wrote this…

Hi Carol

I am a very very angry right now and I’m writing to you to stop my friends from constantly telling me a bunch of shite. I know that when they see your response they will have to quiet their noise once and for all because quite frankly I’m so tired of hearing them. I am 37 years old and I am an assistant bank manager. I’m attractive, single and I don’t have any kids. Right now I live in an apartment but my house is being built as we speak.

Good day confessors, here we are again with another juicy story for you to exercise your inner sex adviser. Before we get to the confession though, please REMEMBER to leave a COMMENT after you have finished reading. The ladies that write to me genuinely want your help and advice, so do your good deed and help them out. Thanks! Today’s story comes to us from Manchester, England and the young lady said this…

Carol I’m writing to you because I am very concerned about a friend of mine. It seems she has a death wish and I’m afraid that something bad is going to happen to her. About two years ago the man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with left her at the alter on the day of their wedding. It seems he had been involved with another woman and decided at the last minute that he could not marry my friend. Naturally she was devastated and since then she has sworn no man will ever break her heart again.

Good day confessors. Here we are again giving you the opportunity to put your sex advice hat on. I have to say that I do not get many confessions that truly surprise me but today’s confession is one that I really did not see coming. A lady has written to us from San Francisco and she wants to know what YOU think of her feelings about her man’s job. The lady calls herself Sarah and she wrote this…

Hello Miss Carol

I have a confession and I hope you will tell me honestly if there is something wrong with me. I have a wealthy boyfriend, we have been together for 4 years and we live a fantastic life. I own a spa and business is good despite the current climate. We travel, we eat at the best restaurants and only shop in designer stores, and we are the envy of my friends and family. Our relationship is great but there is one thing that is bothering me.

Greetings confessors! You know what time it is…it’s time to put your Agony Aunt or uncle hat on and help out some poor soul with their latest dilemma. Our story today comes all the way from Texas and a lady calling herself ‘Shocked Wife’ had this to say…..

Hi Carol

Please tell me something to help me calm down before I go off and do something really drastic. I am so shocked right now I do not even know where to begin. I was working late and I called my husband to let him know I would not be home for dinner. When I finally finished my work I went home, it was around 10.45 pm and I when I got there my house was in darkness. I thought it odd because I expected my son and husband to be at home.

Good day confessors; are ready to offer more love advice to the broken hearted? More money advice to the broke pocketed and more parental advice to the child gone wild? Cool! J Our story today comes from a young lady with one of those issues that sounds straight forward at first but the more you look into it the more you realize how complex it really is. So grab your drinks and your snacks because Ms Gina has a good one for you, she wrote this….

Carol I would really like your opinion on something that happened to me. I am very interested to know what you would do in my situation. My boyfriend and I have been together for a number of years and we have a good solid relationship. A couple of months ago something happened that I have not been able to put out of my mind.

Good day confessors, do I have a story today. This is one of those scenarios that gets our blood boiling here on Confessions of Real Black Women. So grab yourself a drink and snack and settle down for this story that comes to us all the way from sunny Grenada. A lady that calls herself Angie had this to say…..

Hello Miss Carol

I would love your help on a very important matter regarding my husband and myself. We have been married for quite a few years and have 3 beautiful kids. Over the course of our marriage my husband has cheated on me several times. I knew but chose to overlook his indiscretions. Things came to a head when my husbands last fling decided she was not going to be "the outside woman" any longer and began harassing me telling me what my husband does for her in the bedroom and financially.

Confessions Galore! OMG! We have so many confessions coming in every day now, thank you all so much for continuing to send us your stories because without you Confessions of Real Black Women would not exist. Now today we have a confession coming from sunny Florida and the lady in question wrote this….

Hey Carol

I want to ask you a question. I am married to a nice guy. We have a good marriage and two great kids. My problem is my husband has begun getting up in the middle of the night and going downstairs to his office computer to watch porn. At first I wasn't really bothered but when it became a nightly thing I got concerned.

I sat my husband down and had a conversation with him about it. He told me that he still loves me and that he loves having sex with me. He said watching porn was just a little fun, nothing serious. I accepted what he said as he is my husband and he has always been honest with me.

A few weeks later during sex my husband called out a name that was not mine. I immediately jumped up and demanded to know who this woman was he was thinking about. After a great deal of arguing he finally admitted it was the name of his favorite porn star. I told him I did not believe him but he took me to his computer and showed me a video with her image and name at the beginning.

I do not know what to do. I think my husband is obsessed with pornography. He says he is not but I think I am losing him to a woman I can’t possibly compete with. Please Carol I would like to know what you think I should do.

Sincerely

Porn Widow.

******

Porn Widow, you have my condolences!!!

Porn can be a really dangerous thing if not managed properly.  I believe your husband has a problem and is in denial. I do not think he intentionally meant to get caught up in it but he has, and calling out his favorite porn stars name is just the beginning. If left unchecked he will so stop being able to perform with you unless he sees some porn.  You need to get him some help and do it fast in order to get the matter in hand. (Pardon the pun) J

So folks….over to you!! What’s a Porn Widow to do?....

Ignore the problem?

Get him an appointment with a psychiatrist?

Or join him watching the porn?

LET US KNOW IN THE COMMENT BOX BELOW!!

Peace

Carol xoxo

Blessings confessors, I have so been looking forward to today. I have been holding onto this confession since last month just so that I could post it today on Good Friday. So I hope that you will wait till you have some time to spare then get comfy and read this story. And remember our confessors need your advice so MAKE SURE you leave a COMMENT!!! 

Hi Carol

I’m sending you this confession because Good Friday is approaching and I am beginning to truly regret the decision I made this time last year. I hope that by letting this out of the closet so to speak I will be able to forget it and stop beating myself up about it.

It all started when the piece of old car I had broke down on the road. I was about to call my father to get the number for his mechanic when I saw my best friends boyfriend ‘Darren’ coming out of a house down the street. I went rushing down the road to catch him because I knew from my best friend that he quite good with cars. When I caught him I explained what happened with my car and he offered to take a look.

After a good 20 minutes of poking around under the bonnet he said he could not tell what was wrong and suggested getting a mechanic friend of his to come and have a look. I agreed and he called his friend. Within minutes the mechanic arrived and took a look at my car, he decided that it was a faulty spark plug and offered to tow my car to his house and he would replace it there. I agreed and the mechanic towed my car and I traveled in Darren’s car.

At the mechanics house he told me I could sit inside “out of the sun” if I wanted to whilst he sorted out my car, so Darren and I went inside. Darren brought us both a cold drink and we sat and waited. About 45 minutes later the mechanic came in and said he was all done and I asked him how much money I owed him. When he told me I became a little embarrassed as I did not have that much money on me, I apologized and said I would go to the ATM  and I promised I was not messing around and that I had the money but just not on me.

The mechanic looked very skeptical so I suggested that Darren take me that way he could guarantee I would come back. He thought for a moment and then said he had a better idea. He said he knew a better way for me to pay him. He came and sat down beside me and Darren came and sat on my other side, I immediately knew what was going on and I jumped up but Darren grabbed my arm and pulled me back down and told me I owed him and the mechanic and one way or another they were gonna get paid. 

Again I tried to run but they both pinned me down, I begged them not to do it, I begged Darren to think of his girlfriend but he just laughed. I have never been so scared in my life, I knew they were going to rape me and there was nothing I could do about it.

Darren was holding me down and the mechanic began unbuttoning his pants, I started to scream and Darren put his hand over my mouth. I shut my eyes and begged God to save me. I suppose it was not my day to get hurt because suddenly I heard a woman’s voice outside. Both Darren and the mechanic froze, and the mechanic started to curse that it was his mother.

I could see the woman right outside the door so I raised my hand and hit Darren in the balls as hard as I could and started screaming for help. The woman began hammering on the door shouting “what going on in there” I grabbed my opportunity and ran to the door, lucky for me it was locked with a bolt so I opened it and pushed passed the woman. She was calling after me but I didn't stop I headed for my car and thanked God when saw the keys inside, I took off as quick as I could and did not stop till I got home.

I consider myself blessed and I thank God daily for saving me from those two so called men. I decided not to go to the police because my father is elderly and we had already suffered the death of my brother that year and I really did not want to put my father through any more pain.

At first I planned to tell my friend about her boyfriend but I just could not bring myself to do it at the time. However, two weeks ago my friend called me all excited saying Darren had proposed to her. I was really shaken by the news. Darren almost raped me, the lord only knows what he may have done to other women and do I want a friend that I have had since primary school to marry a man like that? But I know my friend, I do not think she will believe me as she has already accused me once of being jealous of her relationship.

I do not know what to do, please help me.

Thanks

Confused Girl

******

Dear Confused Girl, you have suffered a terrible trauma and I am so happy that you got away from those two potential rapists. I understand you not wanting to cause your father any more suffering and I also understand your dilemma about telling your friend. So women simply cannot bear to hear anything bad about their boyfriends, especially from another woman and your friend has already accused you once so most likely she will not believe you. It is truly a confusing situation.

But here is what I personally would do. I would bite the bullet and tell the friend, and I say this because you need to look out for yourself. If you tell your friend and she chooses to marry Darren anyway, it’s all on her, your conscience is clear. Look at it this way, suppose you said nothing and this man hurt her or someone else and it all came out anyway. How would you feel knowing you could have prevented that?

I know there is a good chance your friend will not believe you and you may well lose a lifelong friend forever, but I think the alternative is much worse. I wish you all the best with making this decision; I know it won’t be easy.

SO!! People…What should ‘Confused Girl’ do?

Should she tell her friend?

OR should she keep her mouth shut?

Let us know in the comment box below!!

Many Blessing to you all on this Holy Day!!

Carol xoxo