Confession #10 – My 15 Year Old Daughter Controls More Money Than Me
It’s that time again confessors and I have to raise my hand and confess to laughing at the unfortunate name this lady has been labelled with, she surely has some terrible friends. Our story comes today from my back yard (no not literally) but from my home country of Barbados. And it comes from a lady who describes herself as a Devoted Mother. She wrote this…
I know that people are supposed to be sending in confessions to you, but to be honest I have nothing to confess. But I would like you and your readers’ opinion on something that is bothering me though. I live with my boyfriend and I have a 15 year old daughter. My boyfriend is a good man and he does everything he can to make sure me and my daughter has a nice home and a good life. He is no millionaire by far but he works hard to provide for us.
I do a great deal of work with my church and my daughter is very much guided by the church and her faith in the father God. Last year my daughter began to talk to a young man in our church. I fully supported them going out because I have known the young man and his family since he was a little boy in short pants. This past summer when it was time for me to start buying all the items my daughter needed to go back to school, I was pleasantly surprised to find that her boyfriend contributed greatly to the cost of the things she needed.
One Saturday he took her shopping and bought her a very expensive pair of Clarke’s shoes, and he also bought the designer school bag that my daughter had been asking me for that I told her I could not afford to buy.
The following week he paid for her school books and I have to say it was a great weight off of my shoulders not to have to bear the burden of all my daughters back to school expenses. Since then my daughter’s boyfriend has continued to be financially supportive towards my daughter and she is very happy with him. He has a very nice car and drives her to church on Sunday’s and then they usually go out together in the evening. He also gives my daughter pocket money and to be honest sometimes she controls far more money than me.
The thing that is bothering me is that some of my friends say that I am wrong to allow my daughter to associate with the young man. They say that at 19 years old he is way too mature for my 15 year old daughter, and that I am only pimping out my daughter to a grown man for money. They talk about me behind my back and say that just now my daughter will turn up pregnant. And I even heard one of them describe me as a “Mother Pimp”.
I am very hurt by what people that I thought were my friends are saying about me. I truly believe that my daughter is still a virgin and she and I have had many conversations about the birds and the bees and my daughter has already said that she is not yet ready for anything so. I do not see anything wrong with my daughter going out with this young man and if he wants to spend the money he earns on her, who am I to try to stop him. If the credit card flying then let it fly.
But I would like my friends to see that their relationship is very innocent and my daughter is a good clean girl. It hurts me to be labelled as a pimp and my daughter a whore. Please tell me what you think, am I wrong to allow my daughter to date this young man?
Thank you Kindly
Well, Devoted mother a few things come to mind. If you were my friend and you told me your 15 year old daughter was dating a 19 year old working man I would tell you you’re doing a lot of shite. Your daughter is at a delicate and impressionable age, and it is especially important for her to have a wise mother around to guide her. Yes there are only four years between them, but your daughter is still a girl and her boyfriend is a man. There is a whole world of difference in maturity between those ages.
I do not want to label all men as predators but I have to wonder what he is getting in return for his “credit card flying”. It is possible that he is a complete gentleman, but it is also possible that he is not. At 15 years old I would not have even considered having sex, but times have changed greatly. When you can sit in the transport board yard and look over into the Harrison College grounds and see young people having sex out in the open that tells you all you need to know.
Again; I am not labeling your daughter as being that type but the fact remains that you do not know for sure and you have not protected her adequately. The fact is you cannot swear for your daughter and you have allowed her to roam freely with a man just because he works for a good salary, drives a nice car and spends money on your daughter thus making your life easier.
As for the “Mother Pimp” label, that’s harsh. Funny; but harsh. I do not believe you did this purposely thus deserving that title. But you have looked the other way and that is just as bad. Would you have allowed your daughter to date this man if he was a poor boy on the block, or are you living under the misconception that all those who go to church are without sin? I suggest you wake up before your daughter turns up pregnant or positive.
Now it’s Your Turn People! Is this lady truly a Devoted Mother? Or a Mother Pimp?
P.S You said your daughter met the man last year, meaning she was 14 when she started seeing him? Hmmmm.