Good day confessors, I trust you are all eager and ready for today’s confession. A young woman who refers to herself as the “Confused Virgin” has written to us from lovely lovely lovely Caribbean island of Barbados, and she told us this.
I right now I find myself in an unusual situation. You see I have a group of friends that I have been close with since school days and while I love them to bits, I find that I am being slowly cut out of their lives. And the reason why is simple- because I am a virgin while they have multiple sex partners. I grew up very religious so the decision to stay a virgin till marriage was not a hard choice for me. While I have done my share of dating, there hasn't been anyone who I have connected with on that level.
But recently I have picked up on these little habits that my friends have developed. One of them missed my birthday to hang out with her man instead, using the excuse that she had no money. Every time I invite them out its one excuse or another why they can't come but if I was a perverted man who tell them my trousers drop, them would come fast.
I mean Carol, I'm 20 years old and even though I've been hurt by past in relationships, I still believe in love and being with that one person for the rest of your life. I tried explaining my views to some of the guys I dated and as soon as I said the v-word, it was like if it was the “Hunger Games” and they wanted to get up in my pants fast fast. One even said I was playing games and asking me to do all sorts of things that I am not comfortable with. Can you believe that?
I might not go to church every Sunday but I know what I believe in. My mother raised me to respect myself and not to give away my body just so to any John, Dick or Harry.
Because of this disconnection between my friends and these supposed "decent" Bajan men, I don't think I have the intentions to date or hang out with any of my friends. But there is one I was extremely close to and when we were young we made a pact that if we were to ever lose our v-cards that we would tell the other (call it childish all you want) but when I found out she lied for almost 2 years, I lost all the trust in her. Maybe the little girl inside of me got hurt that she lied. I don’t know. All of the conversations with my friends seem to be all about men whose names they can't remember in a few weeks. One even let a man call she a slut.
I sorry Carol but I want to be able to look at myself in a few years and still have my self-respect intact. If that is what they doing, well good for them. But why does keeping my virginity seem to be such a problem.
CV I want you to listen very carefully to what I’m about to say and I would ask you to read it over and over until it is ingrained in your mind.
<<DO NOT LOSE YOUR VIRGINITY TO PLEASE YOUR FRIENDS>>.
It warms my heart to come across a young woman who is willing to keep some of the so called old fashioned values alive. Sex is such an emotionally powerful thing for a woman and it is extremely important for you to only partake when YOU are ready.
This decision to have sex needs to be made by you and you alone; it’s not about your family, your friends or any guy you may date, it’s ALL about you. Because as you say, you are the one who is going to have to look at themselves in the mirror every day. Your friends are caught up in the pace of modern life; they are not solely to blame for their behavior and attitude. Parents, relatives, peers teachers, society, and the media all contribute to shaping young minds. You were raised by parents who had strong religious beliefs but your friends were not or perhaps they were and simply chose to disregard their upbringing due to pressure from outside influences.
My point is you have made a decision for yourself and just as you respect your friends decisions they should respect yours and if they cannot do so then my girl you need to find yourself some new friends. I hope that you will continue to let your conscience be your guide.
OVER TO YOU FOLKS!!
Should CV give it up?
Or should she keep the chastity belt locked tight?
We love to hear from you, please tell us your thoughts in the comment box below.
P.S Take a moment and share this story with your friends and family on Twitter and Facebook using the links below. And be sure to leave a comment, we love to hear your views. Thanks!