Confession #11– Keeping My Virginity is Such a Challenge
Good day confessors, I trust you are all eager and ready for
today’s confession. A young woman who refers to herself as the “Confused
Virgin” has written to us from lovely lovely lovely Caribbean island of
Barbados, and she told us this.
now I find myself in an unusual situation. You see I have a group of friends
that I have been close with since school days and while I love them to bits, I
find that I am being slowly cut out of their lives. And the reason why is
simple- because I am a virgin while they have multiple sex partners. I grew up
very religious so the decision to stay a virgin till marriage was not a hard
choice for me. While I have done my share of dating, there hasn't been anyone
who I have connected with on that level.
recently I have picked up on these little habits that my friends have
developed. One of them missed my birthday to hang out with her man instead,
using the excuse that she had no money. Every time I invite them out its one
excuse or another why they can't come but if I was a perverted man who tell
them my trousers drop, them would come fast.
Carol, I'm 20 years old and even though I've been hurt by past in
relationships, I still believe in love and being with that one person for the
rest of your life. I tried explaining my views to some of the guys I dated and
as soon as I said the v-word, it was like if it was the “Hunger Games” and they
wanted to get up in my pants fast fast. One even said I was playing games and
asking me to do all sorts of things that I am not comfortable with. Can you
not go to church every Sunday but I know what I believe in. My mother raised me
to respect myself and not to give away my body just so to any John, Dick or
this disconnection between my friends and these supposed "decent"
Bajan men, I don't think I have the intentions to date or hang out with any of
my friends. But there is one I was extremely close to and when we were young we
made a pact that if we were to ever lose our v-cards that we would tell the
other (call it childish all you want) but when I found out she lied for almost
2 years, I lost all the trust in her. Maybe the little girl inside of me got
hurt that she lied. I don’t know. All of the conversations with my friends seem
to be all about men whose names they can't remember in a few weeks. One
even let a man call she a slut.
Carol but I want to be able to look at myself in a few years and still have my
self-respect intact. If that is what they doing, well good for them. But why
does keeping my virginity seem to be such a problem.
CV I want you to listen very carefully to what I’m about to
say and I would ask you to read it over and over until it is ingrained in your
<<DO NOT LOSE YOUR VIRGINITY TO PLEASE YOUR FRIENDS>>.
It warms my heart to come across a young
woman who is willing to keep some of the so called old fashioned values alive.
Sex is such an emotionally powerful thing for a woman and it is extremely
important for you to only partake when YOU are ready.
This decision to have sex needs to be made by you and you
alone; it’s not about your family, your friends or any guy you may date, it’s
ALL about you. Because as you say, you are the one who is going to have to look
at themselves in the mirror every day. Your friends are caught up in the pace
of modern life; they are not solely to blame for their behavior and attitude.
Parents, relatives, peers teachers, society, and the media all contribute to
shaping young minds. You were raised by parents who had strong religious
beliefs but your friends were not or perhaps they were and simply chose to
disregard their upbringing due to pressure from outside influences.
My point is you have made a decision for yourself and just
as you respect your friends decisions they should respect yours and if they cannot
do so then my girl you need to find yourself some new friends. I hope that you
will continue to let your conscience be your guide.
OVER TO YOU FOLKS!!
Should CV give it up?
Or should she keep the chastity belt locked tight?
We love to hear from you, please tell us your thoughts in
the comment box below.