As time passes it is becoming increasingly clear to me that a great deal of black women are facing issues concerning sex. In the short time since the birth of this blog I have received countless emails from women outlining the various challenges they are facing in the bedroom. So if you as one of our most treasured readers are wondering why the confessions are mostly on the topic of sex of late, it is simply because it is the most common problem.
My aim with this blog is to give women an opportunity to voice their problems without fear of recrimination. To protect the “innocent” all of our stories are posted anonymously and all of the information that I receive is kept under the strictest confidence. So women feel comfortable enough to speak about the things that bother them the most, and I do my best to offer humorous but objective and useful opinions on the problem at hand, but I am more interested in getting you our loyal readers involved.
The idea is to develop a community of women who can share with each other, support each other and help and heal one another, and of course have a laugh along the way. And as I said the biggest issue appears to be sex.
So without further ado let us get to today’s story which comes to us all the way from Melbourne Australia, how cool is that? There is a particularly sensitive issue Marsha is having a problem with and she wrote this….
I was so glad when I came across you on Twitter; I have had a problem for quite some time and I just did not know who to talk to about it. I am too embarrassed to talk to my friends as I feel they would think I am a complete moron. My mom would not understand and my sister would probably laugh until she pee-d herself.
I am seeing a fantastic guy, we have been together for just over two years and I do believe he is the one. Sex with my boyfriend is really great for me but I fear it is not so great for him. The thing is like most men my boyfriend loves oral sex but I just cannot bring myself to do it. Every time I try, as soon as it goes in my mouth I feel like I want to throw up and start heaving.
The thing I do not understand is it’s not like I have never done it before because I have. When I was much younger I was dating a guy and I used to do it all the time with him, but I have found that as I have gotten older for some reason I have developed this unnatural aversion to oral sex.
I have spoken to my boyfriend about it quite a few times and he tells me not to worry and that it is not a deal breaker with him. He said he does like oral sex but I do not then it’s fine with him. Carol I know how much most men love a blow job, and I am scared that if he is not getting it from me then eventually he will get it elsewhere. Please could you tell me what you think, I do not want to lose him, he is the most loving and wonderful man I have ever dated and I love him.
Honestly speaking Marsha, yours is a very common problem. I have heard this so many times from so many different women. The first thing that comes to my mind is, if you love and trust your boyfriend then you have to believe him and take him at his word. If he tells you it is not a deal breaker then you have to trust that. If you cannot and you allow your own insecurity to surface you will constantly be tortured by the thought of him straying or leaving you and this can lead to obsessive compulsive behavior and trust me you do not want to go there. You will drive yourself crazy and eventually start driving him crazy.
On the other hand, you mentioned that you used to perform oral sex but you have developed a distaste for it as you have gotten older. Did something happen with one of your boyfriends that put you off? Is there something from your past that is causing this negative physical reaction? Perhaps it’s time to face whatever it is that has put you off. But if there really is no reason for it then you must believe your boyfriend and have faith in the feelings you have for one another and do not waste another moment agonizing over a non-existent problem.
Over to you folks!!!
Should Marsha try to get over her aversion to oral sex?
Should she forget it and continue to make sure that the rest of their sex life is good?
Or should she gobble up that dick and forget about it making her feel sick?
Let Us Know, In the Box BELOW.