Confession #22 - He Beats Me But He's Always Sorry
confessors; never fear I am still here. My apologies for the delay in getting
these confessions out, I know how much you look forward to them. And do I have
a hot topic for you today. In fact it is a topic that I feel very strongly
about as I am sure many of you do to. A lady has written to us from Canada and
she has a painful story to tell, she wrote this…
I am so glad
that I am able to say this out loud and I want to thank you Carol for putting
my letter on your blog. I will get straight to the point as I do not want to
waste your time. My boyfriend used to hit me, not often, but sometimes when he
had been *smoking* he would get angry really quickly and lash out at me. He did
not mean to do it and he was always very sorry afterwards.
I am writing
to you because of what happened recently. My boyfriend and I were in the
bedroom getting intimate and he told me he wanted to “trunk” me. I refused and
he began to hit me, but not the way he had done before, he went crazy. He threw
anything that came to hand at me and when he couldn’t find anything else to
throw he began kicking and punching me.
All I could
do is curl up in a ball and try to protect myself. Eventually he stopped; he
dragged me onto the bed and told me he wanted “another round”. He penetrated me
and was very rough and it was very painful. When he finished he got up and said
he was going out and when he got back I had better “got my ass ready for
I didn't know what to do, I knew for sure I did not want anal sex with
him and I feared what he would do if I refused again. I called my best friend and told her what
happened, and she told me to pack a few things and come to her house.
So I did
that and she helped clean up the cuts on my body and then took me to the police
station. The police took a statement and then suggested I go to the hospital,
which I did. My boyfriend was charged and is now spending 3 years in prison. He
writes to me asking me to visit him, I would like to go as I still love him but
my friend keeps telling me not to.
I am not a stupid woman Carol, I am
intelligent and educated and I earn my own money. I just fell in love with the
wrong guy. I still miss him and I wish things had remained as they were before
he moved in with me, but I misjudged him greatly and I paid the price.
Spirit, I truly hope broken spirited is not how you will remain. This man stole
from you, he robbed you of your dignity, pride and your joy, and I pray you
will get them back in time. Also do not let what happened with this man cloud
your judgment of all men as they are not all alike.
I am very
happy that you had a friend you could rely on in your time of need, getting
away from an abusive man is not as easy as it sounds but you did it and now you
have the golden opportunity to start over. I would suggest that you do not go
to visit your “former boyfriend” as you need to move forward with your life and
look for the real love you deserve.
I hope that
you will allow yourself time to relax, have fun and enjoy life as a single
women for a time. Pamper yourself treat yourself and spend some time truly
getting to know yourself before you jump into another relationship. I am sure
that in time and with the support of your good friend you will be fine.
Blessings to you!!
Spirited” go and visit her boyfriend in prison?